No wonder the parents of the bride and groom are upset at the prospect of a destination wedding. Sure, they’re all the rage according to the soon-to-be newlyweds, but mom and dad have been dreaming of the big wedding with family and friends. Besides, they’re concerned about how Grandma will manage to sit on a plane to Italy for 8 hours or Israel for 12. And so the discussion commences, voices raise, points of view are pled and a few tears are shed.

It’s a conundrum. Who is going to pay for transportation to the destination? Are the guests expected to pay for themselves? How will the guests get time away from their jobs? If you’re serious about going the destination route, consider who will be able to attend versus having a certain location. If you book the wedding at a luxury resort, check other nearby accommodations for guests who may not be able to afford the steep rates. Think about the expenses they may incur — travel, attire, possible boarding of pets back home. So before you say yes, do the math for yourself and your guests. Make it very clear whether you are covering expenses for accommodations or not. You may want to tell the guests that are coming that their gift is their attendance, thereby cutting some of their costs.

For the parents it’s a real dilemma. For the respective bride and groom they want it to be about creating the wedding they envision for themselves. Everyone has their side of the situation. This is not the time for added tension. A good option for both sides is to arrange a party or cocktail reception for the bride and groom prior to their leaving for the destination. Guests who can’t attend the wedding then get to be part of the happy occasion and the joy surrounding the couple can be shared. You can even ask those who can’t attend the wedding to video their good wishes to you via their phones.

Having family and close friends share the joy of a wedding makes it special. Creating a memory with those you love becomes an essential part of a wedding celebration.

– HRK –